Saying no is difficult for me. Whether it be to a loved one or a stranger, work tasks or a new hobby, something I enjoy or despise, saying no just plain sucks. So instead I say yes. I say yes to everyone and everything until I’m left exhausted, depleted, and with nothing left to give.
When COVID quarantine kicked-in I was forced to clear my calendar. Appointments, gatherings, travel plans—all cancelled. Instead of feeling disappointed, I began to feel lighter. I now had a valid excuse to let go of my overbooked plans and was granted a socially acceptable reason to say no. For the first time in my life since I was a kid, I had space to just be.
As shelter-in-place restrictions began to lift, the calls and meeting invites began to pour in. Like a damn where the gates once held back the water, I was flooded with requests to do more—reconnect with loved ones, make delayed appointments, join charitable causes, start new projects.
I could feel the anxiety rising as I struggled to keep my calendar clear. I realized if I wanted to maintain space in my life, I had to learn the art of saying no, without the need for an excuse.
In a culture where being busy is the norm and worn as a badge of honor, it is especially difficult to maintain healthy space in our lives. But there is always an opportunity cost to everything we say yes to. When we say yes to everyone and everything, we say no to ourselves.
Why We Say Yes When We Want to Say No
People-pleasing
We want to make people happy and we do so by saying yes...
